According to Knox & Schacht (2016), cohabitation is
defined as, “two adults, unrelated by blood or law, involved in an emotional
and sexual relationship, who sleep in the same residence at least four nights a
week for three months.” Cohabitation is currently a growing trend in the United
States. According to npr.org, there are currently eight million couples
cohabitating. Additionally, about 65% of first marriages today start out as a
cohabitating relationship, 55% more than the number 50 years ago. Despite this,
there is still much controversy over whether or not the cohabitation experience
is worth having or whether it causes more harm than good.
Many people,
especially young millennials (born during or after the 1980’s) feel that they
cannot commit to marrying someone unless they have lived with them first in
order to make sure that they are compatible first. They see many benefits to
cohabitating such as getting to know each other for who they really are, saving
money, and simply enjoying each other’s company more. While these benefits may
indeed come with cohabitation, it also comes with a variety of potential issues
as well.
One recent study found that cohabitation before marriage may lead to
relationship instability (Woods & Emery, 2002). It also found that
marriages that started as cohabitating relationships have a higher chance of
ending in a divorce (Woods & Emery, 2016). This issue is known as the “cohabitation
effect”. According to Knox & Schacht (2016), the cohabitation effect refers
to the fact that “those who have multiple cohabitation experiences prior to
marriage are more likely to end up in marriages characterized by violence,
lower levels of happiness, lower levels of positive communication, and higher
levels of depression.” There are many theories as to why this is the case. One
study by Steuber, Priem, Scharp, & Thomas (2014) concluded that one of the
main reasons why this happens in cohabitating relationships is because of
couples who are cohabitating do not usually have the same visions or goals for
their relationship. This means that while one partner may want to move in with
the other for convenience, saving money, or to try out the relationship, the other
may be looking for a long term relationship or marriage. Because the goals for
the relationship may not always be clear, commitment issues begin to arise. Another
issue that is mentioned in this study is the fact that couples who cohabitate
often deal with a combination of some of the issues dealt with in dating
relationships, marriages, as well as challenges that are unique to cohabitators
(Steuber, et al., 2014).
Below is a video that compares cohabitation to marriage:
Here is a website that talks about cohabitation as a means to marriage and how you can bypass the issues related to cohabitation by being more aware of these potential issues from the start: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing-for-marriage/test-driving-marriage/cohabitation-as-a-means-of-marriage.
Although the majority of current research concludes that
there is, indeed, a clear association between cohabitation before marriage and
lesser quality relationships as well as increased risk of divorce, there seems
to still be some difference of opinion on the matter. According to Knox &
Schacht (2016), there are nine types of cohabitating relationships. The fact
that there is such variation in the kinds of cohabitating relationships as well
as reasons for cohabitating makes it difficult to make any conclusive
statements about its effects.
Below is another video which argues that cohabitation is not
actually all that bad:
Works Cited:
Donevan, Connor. (2014).
Millennials Navigate the Ups and Downs of Cohabitation. NPR, November, 1. http://www.npr.org/2014/11/01/358876955/millennials-navigate-the-ups-and-downs-of-cohabitation
Knox, D., &
Schacht, C. (2016). Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to
Marriage and the Family (12th Edition). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
Steuber, K. R.,
Priem, J. S., Scharp, K. M., & Thomas, L. (2014). The content of relational
uncertainty in non-engaged cohabiting relationships. Journal of Applied
Communication Research, 42(1), 107-123.
Tracy, A. (2008).
Cohabitation as a Means to Marriage. March 19, 2016. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing-for-marriage/test-driving-marriage/cohabitation-as-a-means-of-marriage
Woods, L. N.,
& Emery, R. E. (2002). The cohabitation effects on divorce: Causation
or selection?. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 37(3-4),
101-119.
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